The Disneyland Half Marathon is only 11 days away and I didn't run last weekend. I am about four months and eighty thousand words away from having a completed manuscript by the end of the year. The George Foreman grill I bought five months ago is still in the box. The last time I updated my blog was back in May.
Clearly, it's time to re-evaluate those goals I set back in January.
I really like goals - especially the making of them. The process of creating a strategy for success, planning the timetable, and developing a focus is exciting to the point of intoxicating, all that potential floating about in the ether. It's thrilling!
The execution? The discipline? Those things are a whole lot harder! It's apparent that I'm very nicely suited to be somebody else's life coach, but not so much my own.
The root of the problem is most likely that I bit off more than I can chew, started choking, and refused to let the EMT perform the Heimlich. Now I'm blue in the face and have only myself to blame. I set a lot of lofty goals with unrealistic time frames, resulting in a certain degree of guilt on my part. Subsequently, I started eating my feelings in the form of whole loaves of sourdough bread covered in Nutella. Delicious, but depressing.
What is the solution?
New goals, of course! Only, this time, no pressure, no schedules, no deadlines.
It's very strange to be goal-oriented yet discipline-deficient, but discovering this interesting personality quirk has been invaluable. I do not regret overwhelming myself with goals, since the point was to experience new things and achieve my dreams, but I do want to stop feeling bad about not being on schedule. This self-imposed guilt I've been carrying around has been weighing me down so much that I've practically shut down entirely. This is not good.
The following are the methods I've devised to pull me out of my funk:
1. Twitter. At this time, my twitter is mostly used to stalk Zachary Levi and trade Friends quotes with Audrey - both worthwhile pursuits, but I think it's time to take my Twittering a bit more seriously. The plan is simple: create a presence. Social Media is a huge marketing force and there may come a time when my future livelihood will depend on what kind of following I have. So . . . follow me (!) - @DaNikster46 - and I'll be pleased to return to the favor.
2. Bucket List. I've been thinking a lot lately about my Bucket List - things I want to do before I die (Just in case you were at all unaware what a Bucket List was. And if you were, you should put 'crawling out of my cave' on yours.) - and there are things on that list I've been putting off for no good reason. It's time to actively work on that list! A few notables are: 1) Sky Dive, 2) Do Las Vegas, 3) Conquer a video game, 4) Become a proficient swimmer, and 5) Hike Half-Dome. Let's do this!
3. Write Seriously. I write, but it's erratic. I'm looking for consistency. Recently, a friend recommended me on Twitter as a new writer - such an honor! - and it got me thinking: am I really a writer? Does one have to be published to be considered a writer? Or work in the publishing field, or have been an English major? What are the qualifications? It's all of these things, some of these things, and none of these things. Writing can be a lifestyle choice, a calling, a part of one's soul. First and foremost, for me, it's a decision. I said sayonara to a career in cancer research to write - it follows that I've got to write. What does this mean? More blogging. More tweeting. Finishing my novel. Actively pursuing a career in publishing and not giving up, however long it takes.
4. All Other Goals Still Apply. I'm not giving up on my other goals - running, reading, cooking, etc. To start, next weekend I'll be running a half marathon. October will bring a reprisal of The Warrior Dash with my best friend and my brother and I will give it our all at The Spartan Sprint in December. I think it's safe to say I've become a runner. Hooray!
When it comes to my reading goal, I'm about 16 books off track, but I'm still reading - always reading! - and have read 48 books so far. Can't stop. Won't stop! Finally, I'm certainly no Betty Crocker and probably never will be - future husband, hope you like to cook or have an abiding passion for spaghetti - but I'm very pleased to say that I haven't had a freezer meal in ages. I may not cook, but I'm very proficient at boiling pasta, which is enough for now.
I feel good about these decisions and I look forward to where they're going to take me. What is most important is that I'm happy with these choices and that is really the point, isn't it?
Cheers!
Very impressive...good writing, self criticism, admitting mistakes, re-orientation of goals, acceptance of self. Also very entertaining to read.
ReplyDeleteBTW, you ARE a writer...just unpublished as ALL successful writers once were! Hang in there you will make it.
I got got your back Kid
Oh, my dearest twin. About this time last year I said (blogged) that I'd be running the 10K during the next Oslo Marathon weekend. Well... that's in two weeks and I've done nothing. Didn't even sign up. Wow. That's some major fail. But it's all good so long as I can laugh at myself and my previous optimism. Bottom line? You're not alone. Good news for you: Half Dome is totally doable; You ARE a writer; Pasta is the Oxygen of food... necessary. Keep up the good work. And by that I mean, continue living joyfully, without succumbing to that constant, soul-sucking need to keep track of your achievements.
ReplyDelete