Wanted: Dream Job

Wanted: Dream Job, via.

Last August, my place of employment was bought out by another company that is based out of Ohio. For several months, my coworkers and I speculated that they would certainly close up shop in California due to the high cost of doing business in this state. Our fears were confirmed at the beginning of December when we were given our notice. As of March 1st, I will no longer be employed. Cue desperation.

Today's job market is not much better than when it was at its worst a few years ago, especially in California. The end of the year/start of the next is a notoriously poor time to find a job as most places haven't confirmed their budget for the next year. Although jobs may be posted, employers aren't really entertaining any thoughts of interviewing until they are certain the job will be funded. Cue panic.

I'm in an interesting place as far as my career goes: I don't really have one. I am in possession of two science degrees but I quickly discovered that, after a stint doing cancer research, science is not where my passions lie. I love words; I want to write. The jobs I'm interested in are in publishing. I think I'd be great as an Editorial Assistant, I'm just a tough sell because of my strange education/work background and lack of the catch-all English/Literature degree. Going back to school isn't a feasible option for me right now, since I'm still trying to pay off my other two degrees. Adding a third just seems greedy.

I'm doing my best to stay positive and I'm sending applications/resumes out everywhere. I'm not the type to put all my eggs in one basket, to my mother's relief, and I'm entertaining jobs outside of my preferred field as well. When it comes down to it, I've got bills to pay and I'll get it done - whatever it takes.

To keep my spirits high, I've made an excellent list of my dream jobs below. Everybody has a list of those jobs that they think they would absolutely love and be killer at, but truly have no chance of ever becoming due to lack of transferable skills - ie rock singer, space cowboy, double agent for the CIA (I'd kill to be Sydney Bristow).

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My Dream Jobs:

Staff Writer for a Sit-Com. Maybe it's because I've been listening to a lot of audiobooks by comediennes, but I would seriously love to be a staff writer for a tv show like Modern Family or The Office. The hyberbolic realism of these kinds of shows are so completely on par with my own semi-ironic-but-no-I-kinda-mean-it sense of humor, we'd be a great, no, fantastic fit. I haven't tackled screen writing yet, but I do live in LA and the starving artist that I'm aspiring to be has to write at least one screen play in her lifetime. Did I mention I live in a loft addition that is more or less a garret? I'm practically there!

Body Double. Even living in LA, I have mostly been immune to the Hollywood influence, with no real desire to Be A Star. Granted, I used to parade around my house when I was 14 emphatically trying to convince my parents that I had "Star Quality", even as I possessed no discernable talent apart from being a world class pain. This eventually turned out to be your standard, run-of-the-mill teenage egocentrism that is quickly squashed by the time junior year rolls around and you still haven't been kissed. That's when the Tortured Artist phase begin. Still waiting to grow out of that one.

No, I've mostly disregarded any real desire to be a famous singer/actress/model/athlete. However, the film process has always been a fascinating topic to me. I often enjoy the behind the scenes special features on a DVD more than the actual film. Anything that gets me a glimpse into the actual cogs of a working film is like catnip, I can't resist it. So, secretly, of course, I have kinda, sorta, always wanted to be a body double. I'm practically average in every way (a pseudo-mediocre Mary Poppins, if you will), including: height, weight, hair and eye color, etc. I'm moderately athletic, so with a bit of training and conditioning, I could probably wield a sword convincingly enough, ride a horse, fall off a tall building, or get blown away by an explosion with minimal to no harm to myself. I think I would rock at it, actually. I'm not afraid of much in terms of physical activity - I'll climb anything, seriously - and I'm not freaked out by gross stuff, I'll sit in a vat of mud if I have to. I'm extremely reluctant to do any nudity, which is probably why I'll never be a body double. Right, that's why my body double career would never work out . . .

I've actually been told on several occassions that I have a passing resemblance to Anne Hathaway, and my aunt is convinced I should be her body double. I would gladly volunteer to do so! (She does her own nude work, so I'm totally set.)

Kinda, sorta? AH photos via here and here.

Voice Actor. Okay, so maybe I lied about not really wanting to be an actor. I don't, not really. Put me on a stage and I'll clam up tighter than Scrooge McDuck's wallet. But voice acting for cartoons or reading audibooks? Sign me up! I already have a voice that sounds childish, often cartoonish (from what I'm able to discern from hearing myself on camera/voice mail, etc), I have even been weirdly complimented on my voice from a stranger in a Communications class I took in college. I'd need to work on my ability to create different voices for different characters, but again, I think I'd enjoy this career enormously.

Travel Correspondent. A la Samantha Brown. She has the best job. I love traveling and would find such great pleasure in learning about different cultures, exploring different cities, and reporting back my findings. I'm not the biggest foodie, but I'd give it the old college try if it meant I could travel anywhere in the world on somebody else's dime. I'd even eat raw fish, which is a HUGE concession for anyone who knows me. I think she's freelancing right now, but Samantha is about to give birth to twins, which will keep her fairly busy for quite a few months. I volunteer to cover any assignment that she is unable to complete. Please?

Meteorologist. Not really, but I do think they're kind of cool. They're the psychics of the science world. What other job lets you make wild Nostradamus-like predictions about the weather with limited accuracy or results, and still get paid?

I could totally do that.

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It may appear that I'm joking around and not wholly serious about any of these jobs - which is mostly true - but if there's a casting director or agency reading this and want to have a conversation about any of the above opportunities, I will gladly sit down with you and explore my options. No, really.

Until then, I'll hang in there and, with a little hard work and some luck, I'll get the job I've been dreaming of.

Someday, via.